Today I had a call with my very good friend, we have been keeping in touch every other day. Our calls are not typical calls, it is in form of sharing. Let me explain little bit what I mean by sharing.
We allow ourselves to give some time each for example 10 mins. We share anything that is on our mind, how we feel in our body and anything that is there to be shared/expressed (as truthful and comfortable). While we do our sharing the other person is simply holding the space for us, being present, actively listening (not advising or thinking) Just listening.. It is beautiful and meaningful form of communication because we can really get to know the other person as well as practice to actively listen and be fully present..
We make it confidential and also ask for consent if we want to refer to anything they have said. We created safe space, free of judgement. We share as deeply and as detailed as we wish and what is acceptable for us.
It has been around a year I have been practising this form of communication and with other people too, also in groups..
It's amazing how many insights we can have just by speaking and going inwards. Many times solutions, answers will come up as we speak. Today I went deeper than I usually do and I recognise I am more opening myself and showing my vulnerability.
Fear came up for me quite strongly which surprised me a little as I didn't realise it was there so strongly but yes it was. Fear of being 100% truly myself, to speak my truth and to live my truth in full capacity. I am currently reading a book called SPEAK YOUR TRUTH by Fearne Cotton. While I am flipping through those pages reading I am resonating with many of her sharing's, statements, experiences. More so it made me realise and question Am I really speaking and living my truth? (BEING REAL & AUTHENTIC)?
So yes me sharing my fear of this upcoming challenge to unlearn to learn again which will take time. Many of our actions, reactions are subconscious so we are NOT aware of it when it happens, but as we learn to be aware what is going on we can start changing these patterns. There are questions in my mind like what if I will start living and expressing my true self ? What if I will say things I never said before, set boundaries I have never set before, express myself like I never expressed myself before? Be loud? Be heard? Be seen and act in a way I haven't before? Literally all these questions are racing through my head. But by the end of the day I would be living my truth and be happy, satisfied with myself.
How many times have you said yes when you wanted to say no? How many times have your boundaries have been crossed? How many times have you sacrificed your own needs just to please someone else? How many times you wanted to express yourself to someone but you didn't because of fear of rejection? How many times did you want to jump out with joy but you didn't because you might be too much? These questions made me question how much I am living my truth.
It is always helpful to remember that having fear, being scared is OK because on the other side of fear is freedom, growth, change. We are human beings and we all have the same emotions.
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